


It never ends

by Ev_Lapolla



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-06-29 01:11:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19819441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ev_Lapolla/pseuds/Ev_Lapolla
Summary: After going back home to Brooklyn Captain America realized that he was missing something and it just happened break into his apartment bleeding and tired.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Steve Rogers was returning to his tiny Brooklyn apartment after a particularly rough party thrown by the genius, billionaire, philanthropist, playboy, Tony Stark. Steve didn’t even know why he went to those god awful parties anymore, it wasn’t like he could get drunk and he wasn’t any sort of dancer, 1940s or 2010’s styles. Most of the time he was just sitting at his table drinking water and trying to make conversation over the craziness surrounding him. Though, the people always seemed to be too drunk or too starstruck to make any sort of good conversation. Either way, he was glad to be back home, he unlocked his front door and took a step in. He immediately knew something was wrong, nothing seemed out of place but Cap didn’t need anything other than an uneasy feeling to jump into fight or flight. He quietly turned on a small table lamp, he took a sweeping look around and found the source of his unease. A large man stood silently in the corner, his ice-cold blue eyes filled with fear widened as Steve stared right back.   
“Bucky?” Captain America said through strained vocal cords, the man in the corner gave him a very small nod of the head in recognition of his old nickname.  
“What are you doing here?” Cap’ continued.  
“I need help Stevie,” Bucky said in an unusually hushed tone, he started to slightly sway on his feet. Just then Steve noticed the trail of blood making its way down Bucky's side. He jumped into action, turning on all the lights in the room, he turned to Bucky and started assessing the assassins wounds. From what he could tell there was a small chunk of flesh missing from his old friend's side, Steve laid him down on the couch and went to get his advanced first aid kit. He went back to his friend's side and started to get to work, the bleeding he noticed at first seemed to be slowing down. Steve took out a pen looking object and removed the cap, inside was a thin shining needle that he unceremoniously stabbed into the area just above the wound  
“That will help with the pain, it doesn’t look awful, but it looks like you’ll be needing some stitches,” Steve told Bucky as he took out a wrapped suture and started to sew the small hole on Bucky's side. Bucky nodded in understanding and tried to get comfy on Steve’s small couch. The whole time Steve worked Bucky didn’t say a thing, he even seemed relaxed. By the end of the process Bucky had passed out, Steve was careful to not disturb the super-soldier when he was done. He moved to the chair behind him and watched over Bucky for a while, thinking all the while about what he would do.

***

Cap ended up sleeping on the chair that night when he woke up in the morning the soldier he had patched up only a few hours ago was evidently no longer on his couch. Startled by this revelation, he immediately went into soldier mode. He searched the room, then went into the other rooms, he found the assassin in his bathroom of all places.   
“Hey,” Captain America said to the tall soldier standing in front of his mirror.  
“Hi” Bucky responded, a heavy awkward silence fell over the two men, as neither of them knew what to say next.  
“How did you find your way here?” Rogers asked coldly, not exactly sure how he should act around the person he thought was his friend.  
“I didn’t know where else to go, I thought you might be able to help me. ” the brunet told him in a hushed voice.  
“I’m glad you came, but if you need help I’m going to have to have some backup,” Steve said, matching Bucky’s tone  
“I was afraid you would say that,” Bucky said dropping his eyes “I’ll go peacefully if you want,” he continued, holding out his wrists for Steve to put cuffs on him assuming he meant to take the famed “Winter Soldier” into custody.  
“That won’t be necessary” Cap turned on his heel and walked out.

***

Less than 90 mins later Steve walked back through the door to his apartment with some exciting news. Bucky stood at attention in the corner of his living room. It appeared like he had been doing that since Steve left.   
“You can stay, but you will have to release all your weapons to me and I will hand them over to Stark.” He told the man in the corner, who made no move at first then he seemed to pull guns, knives, and assorted other weapons from every nook and cranny possible.   
“Is that all?” Steve ventured the soldier pulled another tiny gun and knife from behind his back.  
“That is it unless you want to take me back piece by piece.” Bucky quipped motioning towards his metal arm. Steve chuckled. “That won’t be necessary, I'm sure.” Gathering all of the weapons laid out in front of him, he left to turn them over to the proper authorities.   
“Now that that’s over, we need to talk. Why are you running?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“Why are you running?” The question washed over the super-soldier. He didn’t really know any more after he broke out of the Hydra facility he was on the run. He had been running for a little under a year, he made his way to the eastern coast of Russia and flew to California where he made his way across America, flying, hitchhiking, and walking. Eventually, he made it to New York, where he had been shot at.  
“I don’t know anymore, I don’t know if Hydra is still out there looking for me,” Bucky responded with after a long moment. Steve nodded and moved to sit on the couch. He patted the seat next to him, but Bucky took no notice and stayed standing.  
“Is it ok if I ask you some questions?” Steve asked.  
“You’ve already started, why stop now” Bucky deadpanned. Steve chuckled, then he got serious “do you remember anything?”  
“I’ve started remembering things from before, little things, but I remember so much more from when I was taken off the mountain” his voice hitched, “Hey, um, Steve do you mind if I take a shower? It’s been a while since I've been able to take one.” Steve realizing what Bucky was trying to tell him.  
“Yeah of course,” Steve motioned for Bucky to follow him. Steve gave Bucky a quick tour and grabbed him a fresh towel. 

***

After a surprisingly quick shower, Bucky came out in the same torn clothes and armor he arrived in, squeezing the water out of his hair. Steve noticed this and offered him some new clothes. Bucky was appreciative and followed Steve into his small bedroom. It was sparsely decorated having only a twin bed, one bedside table with a lamp, a dresser, a bookshelf, a full-length mirror hung on the back of the door and a writing desk. Bucky wasn’t surprised, he remembered that Steve’s bedroom had even less when they were growing up.  
“Before or after?” Steve asked pulling Bucky from his thoughts, he was holding up two pairs of jeans. Realizing what Steve meant, Bucky told him before. Steve handed him a pair of high waisted jeans, a short sleeve button up and a belt.  
“I didn’t realize they still made these” Bucky mentioned nonchalantly, he pulled on the jeans and shirt admiring them in the mirror.  
“They don’t, not really at least. I got them from a vintage store, they make me feel better though. Like I never got frozen.” Steve lowered his head and brushed a hand against the fabric of his long-forgotten life. Lost in thought, Steve was violently pulled to attention by the boom of his neighbor's door being slammed shut, instinctively he dropped to the ground and reached for the gas mask that of course wasn’t there. Coming to, Steve looked around him and saw that Bucky had had the same reaction he had. Battle Fatigue is what they called it in the ’40s, now a days it was called PTSD. Sam was always nagging him on going to therapy about it, but Steve just wasn’t the therapy type or so he said.  
“What was that?” asked Bucky after he also came out of his episode.  
“The sound or the experience?” Steve retorted.  
“The sound smartass” Bucky came back at him.  
“That was just my neighbors, they get me every time but usually I am able to realize what it is before that happens,” He tells him, motioning to the floor. It was times like these that he actually thought about taking Sam up on the whole therapy thing. But, he never did, he was always able to pull himself out of his visions, so he thought he was fine. Seeing the way Bucky responded, he started thinking he was wrong. 

***

After a fairly uneventful hour of sitting on the floor processing what had happened, Steve started to feel hungry. He stood up and announced he was making food. Bucky was appreciative but cautious. Usually, when he was given food it was through a tube down his throat because his handlers were smart enough to not trust him with utensils, plastic or otherwise. It turned out that Steve wasn’t an awful cook, he ended up making grilled chicken and mashed potatoes. He wasn’t like the handlers, he was either too trusting or too stupid to give Bucky a knife and a fork. Bucky was dumbfounded when he sat down at the table, he sat there staring at the shiny utensils sitting in front of him.  
“Hey if you’re not gonna eat I’ll take it right back,” Steve said as he reached over with his own fork and took a small dollop of potatoes. Bucky jumped and started to dig in, it was probably the first good meal he had had in decades.  
“Thank you,” Bucky said quietly. Steve nodded back, unsure how to respond. When they were younger Steve and Bucky were practically inseparable, they never thanked each other because they knew that they were able to pay each other back.  
“Of course,” he said after a minute. They ate in silence after that.

***

They were only given a few uneventful days before the other Avengers started poking their noses in places they shouldn’t be. It started light, a phone call or two from Natasha or Clint. Then Tony called, hungover like usual. Eventually, Natasha actually showed up at Steve’s apartment. Steve wasn’t able to ignore them anymore.  
Opening the door he gave a sweeping arm motion welcoming the guest in. “Hey Nat, so glad you decided to stop by,” he followed up with just a tad bit more than a hint of sarcasm. The beautiful redhead stepped through the doorway with a sniff of contempt.  
“We were starting to get worried about you know,” she matched his own sarcasm, “thought you died.”  
“With me around, you have a right to be worried,” Bucky came from the dark kitchen and went to stand in his trademark corner that Steve had just recently coaxed him out of. The two ex-Russian spies stared each other down trying to get a reading, though both knew that would be next to impossible after years of training. Natasha turned back to Steve and started speaking quietly to him, Steve’s mouth pulled into a tight line and he nodded.  
“We’re all going to go on an adventure,” Steve announced trying his very hardest to sound cheery. He clapped his hands and went to put on his shoes, Bucky followed suit and Natasha watched them impatiently. After a short moment, the three find themselves strapped into what had to be Tony’s most extravagant car, a color-shifting Lamborghini Veneno.  
“Was this your idea?” Steve asked Natasha who was sitting in the driver's seat.  
“Tony said I could take any of his cars and you think I wouldn’t take the opportunity to drive this beauty?” Natasha revved the engine and squealed out of the apartment building parking lot. Steve and Bucky both grabbed onto the closest thing they could find, neither trusting the Russian's driving ability.  
“Do you even have a license?” Bucky asked tightly, they made it safely to the highway and Nat turned on the car’s autopilot.  
“Nope, but it’s not like any police officer is gonna try and pull me over” as if on cue a police car that had been driving behind them flashed its lights and Nat burst out laughing. “ Might as well settle in boys we have about a four-hour drive ahead of us,” she put her seat back and rolled towards the window to fall asleep. Neither of the boys were particularly tired so Steve started to mess with the radio, he found a clear station that to just their luck was 40’s classics. A melancholic tune was playing, the two men stared out of their respective windows, waves of nostalgia rolling over both of them. Tears started rolling down Bucky’s cheeks and by the end of the song, both of them were crying. They stayed silent the entire trip listening to the music of their childhoods. 

***  
After a grueling four hours of silence except for the grainy tunes coming through the radio they finally pulled up to the SHIELD tower in DC. Natasha stirred from her slumber as the high-tech car pulled itself into its designated parking spot. All three clambered out of the car, stretching sore limbs before they went to the elevator to what was supposedly their dooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to attempt to put out a chapter every Monday. So today (July 15) was the first two chapters, next Monday will be chapter 3 for sure cause I already have it written and so on. Thank you so much for reading my fic, and if you see me slacking on my posting feel free to give me a little nudge in the comments ;) <3


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

“Oh goddamn it” the elevator opened and the three stepped out, Tony thought it was a great idea to through a welcome back party. There were streamers, balloons, a fully stocked bar, and blaring music everywhere. Natasha went to find Tony and Steve took Bucky to the quietest place in the room.   
“Please tell me you had nothing to do with this,” Bucky breathed as he plopped onto the luxurious couch Steve had led him to.  
“If you think I planned this, you have gone completely psycho” Steve replied before he cringed at his own words, but it didn’t faze his friend who actually started to laugh. His laughter was brief though, Tony Stark found his way to them. He took a heavy seat next to Steve and clapped him on the shoulder.  
“Hey man,” he slurred to Steve “glad you could fuckin make it or this would have been a major waste of money” he motioned to the commotion around him.  
“Yeah, happy to be here, but this is not what we expected,” Steve gave Tony a tight-lipped smile and a look that seemed to say “you are the biggest dumbass I know”. It wasn’t like Tony would get the hint anyway, he had already lost interest in the blonde sitting before him.   
“I know you,” Tony was woozily pointing at Bucky, who was looking very uncomfortable. “Didn’t you try to kill me or something? No… no, you killed my parents, you asshole, what are you doing here?!?!” Just then, to the great relief of Steve and Bucky, a smaller, spandex covered hand put itself on Tony’s shoulder.  
“Hi, Mr. Dad!”  
“Oh, my sweet baby spider!” Tony enveloped the smaller avenger into a massive, booze-induced hug. Spiderman let Tony hug him but he waved to Captain America and slowly maneuvered Tony away from them and into the main source of the party. Bucky and Steve both took a deep breath, then Natasha came up behind them.  
“Hello boys, rockin' party am I right,” Natasha stated, sarcastic as ever. “Tony didn’t really think this whole thing through,” she motioned to the party, “I’m here to take you down to your rooms if you want to get out of here.”  
“Do we ever,” Steve spoke for the both of them and he stood up and Bucky followed suit.

***

Less than 15 minutes later, the two men were undressing in the same room about three floors under the party. Natasha offered Bucky a separate floor by himself, but he kindly refused. He knew that Steve would be able to help him if anything set him off.   
The party went on until the wee hours of the morning and even with all the space between it and the two super-soldiers, they could still hear it. They stayed up all night jumping at every little boom and bang. Eventually, Steve got up and started pacing, he did this for a solid ten minutes until he started mumbling along with his frantic pacing. Bucky was starting to get worried at this point.  
“Hey are you ok” He called out only to be ignored, he stood up and cautiously walked over to Steve. At this range, he could hear what he was mumbling.  
“I killed them… they’re gone... They can’t hurt anyone anymore… they’re gone… it was 75 years ago… they can’t get me… they can’t get anyone… I got him back… he isn’t leaving me” After a minute of listening to Steve’s nonsensical ramblings, Bucky gently placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. He jolted but when he realized who it was he crumpled to the ground. He was sobbing, Bucky kneeled down next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. They stayed like that for a long time. 

***

After a couple of hours, Bucky realized that Steve finally fell asleep. Bucky picked him up, cradling him in his arms, he laid him down on the plush bed and after a moment of questioning he laid down next to him.   
It must have been close to eleven when Bucky was shaken awake. It was Natasha.  
“Get you lazy sack of bones, you’re needed” she sounded annoyed with a final yank she pulled the comforter off the bed. Bucky groggily sat up and wiped the sleep from his face. “Once you’re dressed go to the elevator and press 35,” she left the bedroom and Bucky stood up stretching. He took a look around and found that Steve was no longer with him. He dressed quickly and got on the elevator.   
Going to level 35, he found a kitchen and some hungover avengers and Steve. They sat around a table, silently drinking coffee.  
“Heya Buck,” Steve called out to him chipper as always. Bucky returned his greeting with a nod and took a seat next to him. Everyone around the table seemed uncomfortable, Tony coughed bringing everyone's attention to him  
“So about last night,” he paused, “I want to say that I’m sorry to everyone, I was so drunk.” He was skirting around an issue and everyone could see it clear as day.  
“No, no, no, you don’t get off that easy,” a sudden female voice sounded from behind Tony, he winced.  
“I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about, Pep,” Tony said, rubbing the back of his neck.  
“You know exactly what I’m talking about and you need to apologize to him,” she responded cooly.  
“How do you even know about it, you weren’t there!” He was exacerbated and very embarrassed.  
“Oh, you know, a little spider told me. Now apologize.” She crossed her arms across her chest and stared him down. Tony turned to Bucky, but he didn’t look him in the eyes.  
“So, yeah, Bucky. I’m sorry about what I said last night,” Tony looked up at Pepper, but her look told him he wasn’t done. “And about last night in general, I should have been more cautious of my drinking and the, ugh, party got a little out of hand, so I’m really sorry.” Tony finished and let out a little sigh, he looked up at Bucky, who was not sure how to react.  
“Thanks for apologizing I guess but I kinda expected it, your outburst I mean. So, no hard feelings,” Bucky responded with, after that the table fell silent again. After multiple, long, awkward minutes passed, a new face showed up at the table.  
“Hey, Mr. Dad, Mom, spider Mama, Captain Dad, and Mr. Winter Soldier!” A young boy dressed in red and blue spandex walked up to the table with great enthusiasm and zero ability to read the room. Bucky recognized him from the night before when he took Tony’s attention off of Bucky. “I just got back from my morning patrol, nothing exciting happened, I helped some old ladies cross the street, there was an early morning bank robbery, ya know, the usual.” He finished and took a muffin from the breadbasket sitting in the middle of the table. He just then noticed the fog of awkwardness hanging in the air, he took to quietly talking with Tony about whatever new tech he was working on, Pepper was eventually paged away and Tony took Spiderman down to his lab to continue their discussion. This once again left Natasha, Steve, and Bucky alone.  
“I’m pretty sure that was the most uncomfortable 45 minutes of my life,” Nat said in mock relief.   
“Tell me about it” Steve snarkily responded, he wiped his hands down his face and turned to Buck. “What do you say we get out of here for a while?”  
“I’d say that is a fabulous idea,” Bucky and Steve got up and made their way down to the garage. “Don’t tell me we’re taking Tony’s car” Bucky joked.  
“No, we’re taking something much better today,” Steve joked back, he led Bucky to a classic Harley-Davidson. Bucky let out a low whistle as Steve handed him a helmet. The two climbed on and vroomed out of the garage. Neither really knew where they were going.   
They ended up at a coffee shop after a while. They ordered two black coffees and found a table near the windows.   
“You do know that caffeine doesn’t affect either of us, right?” Bucky said to liven the mood.  
Steve chuckled, “yes I realize, but that doesn’t make it taste good,”  
“You never like coffee before,” Bucky said.  
“Tastes change and the coffee back then was always burnt,” Steve explained, “This coffee is good, but I don’t think it’s worth $4 dollars.”  
“I know right, everything seems so expensive these days,” Bucky joined, just then a couple walked into the coffee shop, two young men holding hands. The sight made Bucky very nervous, he knew what happened to guys like them, they got beat up in alleyways and they couldn’t fight back. “Shouldn’t they be more careful? They could get hurt if they get caught,” Bucky whispered to Steve.  
“Oh? Them, I didn’t know you hadn’t realized yet, but the world is way more accepting of those types of people, it’s even legal for them to get married if they want,” Steve said happily “I was confused at first too.”  
“Hmph” Bucky leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee thoughtfully. “They can get married, huh,” he said more to himself than anyone else. Then, the sirens started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m loving writing this so far, the characters are so fun to play around with. I really like Natasha’s and Bucky’s relationship so I’m gonna put them in there a lot. I think you guys are going to love the next few chapters. Can’t wait to show you!! Xoxo <3


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

At first, it was one fire truck, then it became two, then three. The apartment building across the street had caught fire, it was spreading from floor to floor so quickly that the whole building just looked like a ball of flame. People were screaming and children were crying, Steve and Bucky jumped into action. Steve took off in a dead sprint to the building, Bucky was barely able to keep up. The firefighters were working to get into the upper levels of the building, but the flames kept building until even they couldn’t get through. This, of course, didn’t mean anything to Steve and Bucky, they burst down door after door and found most empty, but the last one they got into they found a mother and her three small girls. Bucky paused in the doorway, he looked in the little girls scared faces, he saw his sisters in them and his mother in theirs. Steve pushed by him and started talking to the mother frantically. While Steve helped the mother, Bucky picked up all three girls and ran them down the stairs himself. As they burst through the front door again the ceiling of the building began to crumble.   
The woman Steve carrying started weeping, “No, no, no” she said it over and over again. Steve set her down on the curb and started to comfort her as much as he could. Bucky turned his attention to the children in his arms and on his back, the youngest looked about three, the next one was maybe five, and the one on his back was the oldest at probably seven.  
“Thank you for saving my mama and sisters,” the oldest said, “I tried to get them out by myself.” Bucky tried to set the girls down on the pavement, but only the oldest got off. “I think they’re still scared” she patted her sisters’ heads.  
“I would be too if I were in your shoes” Bucky took a seat down next to the girl and he adjusted his grip on the other girls so that they knew he would keep them safe. “What’s your guys’ names?”   
“I’m Nadenka, this is Sasha” she pointed at the youngest “and that is Tatianna” she pointed at her other sister, “and my mama is Lubava” she pronounced each name in a distinctly Russian accent.  
“You’re Russian,” Bucky meant it as a question but it came out as a statement.  
“We are, mama came over from the old country when she was getting ready to have me, our uncle let us live with him until we could get an apartment, but it looks like we are moving back in with him now,” she finished melancholically and stared at the smoldering rubble that was their first home. Bucky thought she was strong and she was independent. Bucky sat there holding the girls for a long time watching the smoke rise from the burned building. During this time the girls' mother didn’t go over once to make sure her children were unharmed, this irked Bucky to no end. What mother does she think she is. Eventually, Bucky stood up and walked over to Lubava and started to talk to her in angry hushed tones. She didn’t seem to understand why Bucky was mad with her so she started to sob harder.  
“Взять себя в руки женщина! (pull yourself together woman!)” Bucky yelled at the woman, he accidentally woke the sleeping three-year-old that was in his left arm, who started to cry. This combination seemed to pull Lubava to her senses, she took the toddler from Bucky and started to sing her a lullaby. Bucky seemed satiated at her actions and returned to Nadenka still annoyed. He turned to her and pulled out a small Moleskine notebook, he turned a few pages then stopped and ripped one out and handed it to Nadenka. “If you ever need anything. Anything, money, food, shelter, you call one of those numbers and ask for Bucky.” He told her simply, then he set down Tatianna next to her and started to walk to Steve. Nadenka and Tatianna looked at the paper, it had three phone numbers labeled Steve, Tony, Pepper.

***

Bucky made Steve leave after that, he didn’t tell him what he did, but Steve could tell something was up. He had seen Bucky yell at the woman they saved, he heard him use Russian for the first time since he had gotten out of HYDRA. He wanted to ask Bucky what had happened but he knew that Bucky would tell him when he was ready.  
The two men found Steve’s bike and went back to the tower, it was almost sunset, they had been out for hours at that point.  
When they walked into the SHIELD tower the two found everyone glued to the TV where the news was playing. Some TV announcer was telling a story about “Two hero men who ran into a burning building and carried out small immigrant family,” it was a story about Bucky and Steve of course. Luckily for them, it didn’t seem like anyone realized who it was. Natasha who was the first to notice them walk in seemed vaguely concerned, she pulled Bucky away from Steve and took him upstairs to the kitchen.  
“ты что-нибудь помнишь? (do you remember anything)” she spoke quietly in Russian, she looked almost uncomfortable confronting Bucky like this. Bucky looked over her head sadly.  
“Я все помню,(I remember everything)” he responded to her, in a hard, steely cold voice.   
“What about me?” she lowered her head, avoiding his eyes, not like that would have been hard he wasn’t looking at her either.  
“What about you, Natalia Romanova” he scoffed, “a brilliant dancer, lethal fighter, and the best shot out of any little girl to leave that hell hole,” he looked down at her “I remember everything I taught you pip-squeaks, god, you should have never listened to me. I never said anything good”  
“What you taught me kept me alive Bucky,” she was defensive of her childhood, “I don’t care how awful it was, I was alive and that’s as much as I could ask for back then.” The two got silent for a minute after that.  
“Do you still dance?” Bucky asked Natasha.  
“Do you?” She retorted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh cliff hanger, lol, I really love the whole relationship building between the girls and Bucky, so I will be bringing them back eventually. But, new things coming next week that I’m very excited to show you guys! Xoxo <3


	5. Chalet 5

Chapter 5

Steve was worried about the ex-Russian agents as they left to go who knows where. Steve was sure that it had something to do with what Bucky had said in Russian but other than that he had no idea what to expect.  
“Tony, do you know what’s wrong with Nat? Steve didn’t expect much but he gave it a try.  
“I’m gonna be completely honest and tell you that I have no idea, but I’m sure that it’s nothing too bad or else we would hear fighting by now,” Tony chuckled and Steve relaxed, cause Tony was right, those two could take care of themselves. Then Tony turned to Peter who was sitting with Pepper on the couch across from him, “Hey, kid how was your patrol today?” It seemed like the conversation was already dropped and Peter started to ramble on about his patrol with Pepper and Tony occasionally interjecting to ask a question or to comment on whatever hijinks he had gotten up to. Steve watched the comfortable family setting in front of him and he almost forgot about Bucky and Natasha, almost.

***

Natasha waited for an answer until she realized that she wasn’t going to get one. She took Bucky by the arm and led him to her room, unsurprisingly it was about as barren as Steve’s apartment, except for one side which was a wall of mirrors and a barre. Natasha made quick work of putting on a pair of pointe shoes and tossed a pair of flats at Bucky who was well out practice and clumsily put them on.  
“Do you remember what they taught us about dance?” Natasha asked as she put on a record, it started and Bucky recognized it as Swan Lake.  
“We’ll see,” Bucky set himself up for the beginning of the dance. Nat began to dance, every move precise and perfect, she obviously still practiced religiously. She moved like the swan that the ballet told about, graceful and serene. Bucky, on the other hand, hadn’t danced in years, he was slower and clumsier, but he knew what he was doing. He lifted her into the air by the waist in one smooth motion, spinning in a slow circle. The two lost themselves in the music, they didn’t even hear when Steve walked through the door.   
At the end of the song, the two dancers took a measly bow for Steve who was clapping from the doorway.  
“I didn’t know either of you danced,” he commented, he was seriously impressed and confused.  
“Not everything I learned was bad, Rogers,” Natasha snarked defensively. She waited for Bucky to back her up but he was to busy hiding his embarrassment from Steve. He didn’t think he would ever tell Steve about it.  
“I never said it was,” Steve tried to say, but Natasha was already pushing past him and going down the elevator. “What was that all about Buck?” Steve asked thoroughly confused.  
“Dance is like a fight, there are no mistakes allowed” Bucky quoted an unknown source, “that’s what we were taught, no mistakes and no harm will come to you they said as they beat you to an inch of your life. One slip up in a sparring session and the trainer will let your opponent snap your neck. I was taught that then I taught the next ones, and they taught the ones after them, it was a never-ending circuit. I’m so sorry Stevie, I tried so hard, so hard,” Bucky fell to his knees and started to dry heave. Steve stood shocked for a moment, then he knelt next to Bucky and gently placed a hand on Bucky’s back. Bucky jumped back in alarm and reached for a knife that was very much not there. Bucky looked like a wild animal, he was crouched ready to flee, his hair was in his face, breathing heavily, and a film of sweat was forming across his brow with wide frightened eyes.   
Steve stepped back until his back pressed against a wall, he sat there and stared at Bucky, this was a Bucky he didn’t know. The Bucky he knew was always on top of his shit, ready to take care of Steve when he got sick or in a fight, or he was ready to take care of his little sisters in a pinch. But, this Bucky was broken and beaten, he had no idea what he was doing.   
“Hey, just breath, nothing is gonna happen,” Steve crooned softly. Bucky was still breathing in short, ragged breaths and Steve couldn’t tell if Bucky could hear him but he kept talking anyway. He talked mainly nonsense, anything to fill the silence and Bucky seemed to respond to it. Well not literally, but he calmed down eventually. After Steve told a story about him and Peter building “just the biggest blanket fort you’ve ever seen,” Bucky crawled over and sat next to him.  
“Thank you, Stevie,” Bucky muttered hoarsely.  
“Of course, Buck I’m with you till the end of the line,” Steve said innocently. He lifted his arm to wrap it around Bucky, but before he completed the action he looked at Bucky for permission and Bucky granted it with a small nod of his head. Steve brought Bucky snuggly to him and sighed contentedly, then to both their surprise Bucky laid his head on Steve’s shoulder. 

***

After a while Natasha came back, it was her room, after all, so she kicked them out. Neither of the boys was that tired so they decided to watch a movie. They went to the theater that Tony had built not too long ago, it took up an entire floor, there was a wall to wall, floor to ceiling screen, a fully stocked kitchenette, bean bag chairs, recliners, and couches. Steve went to pop a bag of popcorn and get some sodas. Bucky set about finding a movie for them to watch, something funny. He found something he never would have guessed, Disney movies.  
“HOLY SHIT STEVE!” Bucky shouted when he found the pile. Steve came running worried that something bad was happening, but no, he only found a giddy looking Buck who was holding up about 20 DVD boxes with smiley Disney characters staring back at him.   
“Jiminy cricket Buck, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” Steve feigned, grabbing for his chest.  
“Well, sorry not sorry pal, these are just too good,” Bucky was ecstatic, he made quick work of popping the first one in the DVD player and getting it to show up on the screen. Steve returned with the popcorn and sat next to Bucky on a loveseat. He placed the bowl in between them and settled in to watch Inside Out. The two had no idea what they were getting themselves into, the movie had them both become blubbering messes, but in a good way this time. After the first movie, Bucky turned to Steve and asked if they could watch another. Steve couldn’t help but say yes, so that’s how they spent what was left of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the whole doctrine of the red room that I set up, I know that the ballet was just a memory that they implanted into Nat’s brain, but meh I like it. Also I love writing Peter because he’s similar to me, and protective👏 Boyfriend👏 Steve 👏 I looove it (even though they aren’t dating(yet😉)) Xoxo see you next week


End file.
